it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
