He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
