Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
