Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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