**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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