You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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