The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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