I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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