Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
