Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
