stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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