I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
