You're my little dorito
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
COCAINE IS GR8
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
