you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am one with the molecules
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
