google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Of course I have a pirate flag
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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