My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How does one acquire holy water?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
