i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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