it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
