Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
