We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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