Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
