what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize