Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
