PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
