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• (586): View more from Michigan

  their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  and what kinds of feelings would these be?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Happy, horny, occasionally hungry

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i will live by this rule

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Just the cushions

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.

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