you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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