Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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