i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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