You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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