nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
