I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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