There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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