Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
