they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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