I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize