pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
