she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
