The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
