With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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