They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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