You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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