This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize