Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
