I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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