All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i out mim tonsoeep
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