just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Boobs speak an international language.
We have started to decorate penises.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize