I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
