It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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