either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
