Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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