At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
