Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
