No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to wash the frat house off of me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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