I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
