I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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