i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
