scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
