I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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