Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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