I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
