screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
