There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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