Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize